Forbearing
I.
Colossians
3:12-14, Ephesians 4:1-3-We are told two times in our dealings with people to
forbear
A. Forbearing
one another is connected to our loving one another
1.
Ephesians
4:2-Forbearing one another in love
2.
Colossians
3:13-Forbearing and forgiving one another and put on love
3.
To
love people you we are going to have learn how to forbear people
B. Colossians
3:12-13-You can’t forbear and forgive if you don’t put these on 1)
Compassion/Mercy 2) Humility 3) Meekness/Gentle 4) Longsuffering/Patience
1.
You
put the armor of God on to stand against the wiles of the devil, but you clothe
yourself with compassion, humility, meekness, and patience to deal with each
other-Ephesians 6:12
2.
If
you don’t put on what he tells you to in verse 12 then you can’t do verse 13
3.
You
own these things, but if you don’t put them on you won’t have them on; It’s
like owning clothes and not putting them on
4.
If
you’d put these things on it’d be much easier for you to act right in your
dealings with people
5.
Ephesians
4:1-3-We see the same types of things in this verse: Lowliness, meekness,
longsuffering and then forbearing
6.
Here’s
what it’s going to take to love people 1) Compassion/Mercy 2) Humility 3)
Meekness/Gentleness 4) Longsuffering/patience
II.
Forbear
definition
A. Forbear-Webster’s
1828
1.
The
exercise of patience and indulgence
a. To
treat with indulgence (mild, not severe, favorable) and patience; To spare
b. Indulgence
(lenience, understanding, tolerance) towards those who injure us (wrong us)
2.
Lenity-Mildness
of temper; softness, tenderness, mercy (as opposed to severe hard)
3.
Delay
of resentment or punishment; To be patient, Longsuffering
a. Rather
than be resentful and angry with you, I’m going to delay my anger
b. Part of
forbearance is how long can you delay your anger and be patient?
c. Rather
than get mad and resentful and be offended and hold unforgiveness I’m going to
delay that and suffer long
4.
Command
of the temper, Restraint of passions
a. A
ceasing or restraining from action; Ceasing, pausing, withholding from action;
To pause, to delay; To stop, to cease, to abstain
1)
I’m
going to restrain from action, I’m going to pause, I’m going to delay rather
than fly off the handle and take offense
b. To hold
one’s self from motion or entering on an affair; To hold from proceeding
1)
I’m
just going to hold my self from motion, from being mad, taking offense, talking
critically and judging
c. To
restrain from action or violence
1)
I’m
going to restrain from getting mad and taking offense and judging
5.
Rather
than being hard and harsh and unfavorable I’m going to give you some lenience
and understanding and I’m going to be mild and tender and show you some mercy
and I’m going to delay my resent and my anger and I’m going to be patient with
you and exercise some longsuffering and I’m going to pause and restrain from
getting in the flesh and being mad and taking offense and talking critically
and just give you some time
B. Forbearance-Greek
1.
To
hold one’s self erect and firm (against any person or thing)
a. That
gives the picture that something is trying to move you and against the pressure
you are standing firm
b. The
idea is that people’s actions or words might be trying to move you off of the
love of God, but rather than being moved you’re going to forbear what their doing
and not be moved by the pressure of it
2.
To
bear-To support or sustain without sinking or yielding
a. I’m
sustaining faults of others, the poor treatment of others without sinking and
yielding to my flesh
b. To
sustain-To endure without falling or yielding, uphold, to support, to hold to
keep from falling
c. Rick
Renner-To put up with, to endure, or to bear up under. Yet this word doesn’t portray the
sufferer as one who simply surrenders to defeat, but rather as one who exhibits
and attitude of fortitude and resistance to such negative forces
3.
To
bear (with equanimity-evenness of
mind, that clam temper or firmness of mind which is not easily elated or
depressed, which sustains prosperity without excessive joy and adversity
without violent agitation of the passions or depression of spirits)
a. This
gives the picture whatever is trying to move you is not moving you one bit;
you’re staying level, the same
b. The
idea is while you are forbearing you are level and really probably nobody knows
you are forbearing
C. Nehemiah
9:29-30-Yet many years you did forbear them
1.
17-This
is forbearance-What they are doing is not right, God doesn’t like it, but he’s
going to withhold action, pause, delay, abstain from action; He’s going to
exercise patience, longsuffering and treat them with indulgence (mildly, not
severe, favorable), He’s going to spare them and be lenient and understanding;
He’s going to bear it with equanimity, without sinking or yielding, He’s going
to stand firm in mercy and compassion and not let their faults, their stupidity
move Him
2.
19-This
is forbearance-They built a golden calve and told the people this is the god
that brought you out of Egypt and yet God delayed punishment and was patient
and restrained himself from action
3.
27-31-The
kept rebelling and then coming back and then rebelling and even when God would
give them into the hands of their enemies He didn’t totally consume them and by
not doing that He is forbearing
a. MSG-You put up with them year after year and warned
them by your spirit and through your prophets; But
when they refused to listen you abandoned them to foreigners. Still, because of your great compassion,
you didn’t make a total end to them.
You didn’t walk out and leave them for good; yes, you are a God of Grace
and compassion
4.
You
see God exercising forbearance. They are doing things that he doesn’t like,
things that are not right in His eyes, things that could really irk Him and
anger him, but He’s being gentle, dealing with them mildly, delaying punishment
and anger, giving them time, being tender with them showing them mercy and even
when He does have to give them into the hands of their enemies to wake them up
He does it in such a way that they are not totally consumed
D. Romans
2:4-God is rich in forbearance
1.
God
doesn’t delay punishment, judgment and anger because he’s okay with sin, he
delays it so that you’ll see is kindness and repent
2.
VOICE-So you can see there are no excuses for any
of us. If your eyes shift their focus from yourselves to others—to
judge how they are doing—you
have already condemned yourselves! You
don’t realize that you are pointing your fingers at others for the
exact things you do as well.2 There’s no doubt that the
judgment of God will justly fall upon hypocrites who practice such
things. 3 Here’s
what is happening: you attack and criticize others and then turn
around to commit the same offenses yourselves! Do you think you will somehow
dodge God’s judgment? 4 Do you take the kindness of
God for granted? Do you see His patience and tolerance as signs that He is a
pushover when it comes to sin?
How could you not know that His kindness is guiding our hearts to turn away
from distractions and habitual sin
to walk a new path?[a]
E. We’ve
been so quick to judge and condemn and be critical and throw people into the
pit in a mad rage
1.
Forbearance
questions
a. How
much can you put up with?
b. How long
can you delay your judgment and critique and anger?
c. How
hard are you on others?
d. Do you
give people in lenience and understanding?
e. Can you
be tender? Can you show people mercy?
f.
Do
you every delay your anger and resentment and give people time?
2.
Just
because you forbear doesn’t mean that you’re saying what they’re doing is okay
or right or no big deal
3.
Here’s
something that will help you forbear – It’s not your job to go around
judging everybody and fixing everything that’s wrong with everybody; you are to
forbear and forgive people not fix people; if there is something wrong with
them forbear and forgive
4.
Lack
of accountability is not forbearance it’s neglect
a. There
needs to be accountability in families and in organizations because there’s
accountability in God’s kingdom and things that are wrong shouldn’t be allowed
to go on and on and on and on
b. People
that don’t like confrontation and correction can sometimes fall into the ditch
of forbearance and everybody gets to do whatever the want even if it’s wrong
for as long as they want and it’s okay
c. Romans
11:22-There’s a severity to God and if you disobey him and refuse to repent
you’re going to see the severe side
1)
There’s
a time to be severe and a little more stern, but that’s only to wake the person
up to just how serious this is
III.
How To
Forbear
A. Make
allowances for one another
1.
Colossians
3:12
a. NLT-Make
allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
b. EXB-Make
allowances for and be patient with
2.
Ephesians
4:2
a. TLV-Be
humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for
each other’s faults because of your love
b. NLT-Always
be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making
allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
3.
Is
it okay with you that everybody is not perfect like you; are people allowed to
not have it all together? Is it okay with you that they are not perfect? And
when they aren’t can you tolerate it and put up with it and stay in love?
a. Can you
forbear the imperfections of other people?
B. Endure
whatever come with a good temper – Be cool
1.
Colossians
3:12
a. AMP-Which
is tireless and long-suffering and has the power to endure whatever comes,
with a good temper
b. TLB-Don’t’
worry about making a good impression on them, but be ready to suffer quietly
and patiently. Be gentle and ready to forgive
2.
When
something happens that you don’t like can you not fly off the handle and be
offended and judge unfavorably and talk bad about people and be critical?
a. Part of
forbearing is you go right through with a good temperament JJJ
C. Put up
with one another
1.
Ephesians
4:2
a. VOICE-Be
humble. Be gentle. Be patient.
Tolerate one another in an atmosphere thick with love.
b. CEV-Always
be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and
love each other.
c. BBE-With
all gentle and quiet behavior, taking whatever comes, putting up with one
another in love
d. NIRV-Don’t
be proud at all, be completely gentle.
Be patient. Put up with
one another in love.
e. NAS-Showing
tolerance for one another in love
2.
Colossians
3:12-13
a. Philips-Accept
life and be most patient and tolerant with one another always ready to forgive
if you have difference with anyone
3.
Put
up with each other is different that put up with each other IN LOVE
a. Our
ability to put up with one another has not been that good
D. Don’t
be hard on others
1.
Ephesians
4:2-NLV-Live and work without pride. Be gentle and kind. Do not be hard on others. Let love keep you from doing that.
2.
Part
of forbearing is being gentle, giving people some room to grow, some time, some
leniency and if you’re hard and severe with every person who does something
wrong in your eyes that you’re not operating in forbearance