Are You Offended?
I.
We need
to be quick to recognize offense in our lives so that we can give forgiveness
and overcome offense and keep the root of bitterness from developing and
destroying our faith
A. We have
been lacking light and lacking sight in this area of “Am I offended? Have I
taken offense? Am I in unforgiveness?
1.
Our
attitude where this is concerned has been, “Well
I’m not offended, I’m not in unforgiveness, I don’t have anything against
them,” and we’ve derived that attitude from the understanding that we are
not supposed to take offense and be in unforgiveness
2.
You
can say you’re not offended and be offended, you can say you’re not in
unforgiveness and be in unforgiveness, you can say you don’t have anything
against them and have something against them
B. The
enemy doesn’t want you to recognize when you’ve taken offense or have
unforgiveness because he doesn’t want you to deal with it
1.
The
enemy wants you to be in offense and not recognize it, hold unforgiveness and
not realize you have it, have something against someone and not know that you
do (and in fact he’ll tell you that you don’t)
a. We
don’t want to walk around the spirit of offense in our hearts totally unaware
of it
2.
The enemy doesn’t want you to know what offense
is because he doesn’t want you to recognize it in your life
a. When
trapping an animal the key is to keep the traps camouflaged in order to capture
it
3.
One
of the enemies main strategies is to strip the relevancy of thing to stop the
application of it
a. EX: Forgiveness
isn’t relevant to you because you’re not in unforgiveness, you’re not offended
at anybody
C. The
enemy likes to get that unforgiveness and offense working in you and just keep
it there at the ready without you knowing so that when you get ready to release
faith in God to overcome there’s nothing there to energize your faith and make
it work
1.
If
we can recognize offense, ought, and unforgiveness then we can give forgiveness
and live life not having anything against anybody
II.
Are you
offended? Did you take offense? Did that offend you? – Mark 4:17 (AMP)-Offended (become displeased, indignant, resentful)
A. To see
in another what you disapprove of; To be offended in one, find occasion of
stumbling in
1.
Matthew
11:6-And blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in me – Matthew
13:57-And they were offended in him
B. To
cause one to feel displeasure at a thing; to be displeased or indignant
1.
Matthew
15:12-Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended after they heard this
saying
C. To
cause one to judge unfavorably or unjustly of another
1.
Matthew
17:27-Not withstanding lest we should offend them, go thou to the sea, and cast
a hook and take up the fish that first comes up; and when you have opened his
mouth, you will find a piece of money: that take and give unto them for me and
you
D. To put
a stumbling block or impediment in the way upon which another may fall; to be a
stumbling block; to cause or to make stumble
1.
Matthew
5:29-If your right eye offend you pluck it out and cast it from you
2.
Matthew
18:6-But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it
were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and that he
were drowned in the depth of the sea
E. To
cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and
obey
1.
John
6:61-When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto
them, Does this offend you?
2.
Matt13:21-Yet hath he not root in himself but endures for a while:
for when tribulation or persecution arises because of the Word, by and by he is
offended
3.
Matt26:31-35-All you shall be offended b/c of me this night: for
it is written, I will smite the shepherd and the sheep of the flock shall be
scattered abroad
4.
John
16:1-These things I have spoken unto you that you should not be offended
F. Being
offended is really a three step process 1) You see something you disapprove of
2) You get displeased and indignant 3) You judge unfavorably (that’s the
opposite of releasing and letting go, that’s holding onto)
1.
You’re
seeing something you disapprove of, you’re displeased, you’re indignant, you’re
judging unfavorably, you have something against them, you are holding onto it,
YOU ARE OFFENDED and you have stumbled
2.
If
something happened that you disapproved of, that displeased you, that made you
indignant (angry, annoyed, outraged, furious) and rather than forgive and let
it go you hold onto it and judge unfavorably of another person then you have
taken offense
III.
One of
the biggest signs that you’ve taken offense is that you murmur with the mouth
A. John
6:61-Their murmuring demonstrated that they had taken offense; One of the main
ways offense manifests is in murmuring
1.
59-60-Jesus
preached the message many of his disciples probably sat down to eat after the
service and they disapproved of it, got mad about it, and then judged
unfavorably by speaking words (the key word in verse 60 SAID)
a. What
are they doing when they are saying in verse 60? Grumble, grumble, grumble
b. AMP-This is a hard and difficult and strange saying an
offensive and unbearable message. Who can stand to hear it? Who can be expected
to listen to such teaching?
2.
Jesus
knew they murmured and asked them if they were offended; These two are so
connected – Murmuring and offense
a. If
you’re quick to murmur you’re easy to offend
b. Murmur-To say anything against (in a low
tone), discontently complain
3.
When
you’re displeased and angry murmuring will follow and that’s evidence that
you’ve taken offense and you need to forgive
a. Rather
than take offense and murmur, forgive and give thanks
B. Numbers
14:1-2-They murmured against Moses and Aaron; They saw something they
disapproved of, they got mad, they judged unfavorably – THEY ARE OFFENED
and that’s made evident by their murmuring
1.
Do
they have something against Moses and Aaron? Yes. How do we know? They’re
murmuring
2.
They were offended at Moses, they were offended
at Aaron that's connected to them never seeing the land of promise
a. If
we become offended we will never see our land of promise, we will never see
what God is fully promised us and will be continually held back from God's best
for our lives
b. Every
offense/unforgiveness you hold onto will hold you back from God’s best for you
life
3.
Offense
will keep you from your miracle, from your victory, from the supernatural-Mark
6
a. Instead
of having God manifest in their life and experience his best and walk in
victory, they’d rather hold onto the offense
b. You
can’t have the offense/unforgiveness and God’s best; you have to let go of one
to have the other
c. There’s
a connection between the forgiving life and the best life, the forgiving life
and the supernatural life, the forgiving life and the victorious life (John
6:61-Offense kept these people from following Jesus and experience the best
life)
IV.
Luke
17:1-Offences are coming (trap, snare, impediment placed in the way and causing
one to stumble or fall, any person or thing by which one is entrapped or drawn
into the error of sin)
A. Offences,
traps, snares, stumbling blocks they will come
1.
ASV-It
is impossible, but that occasions of stumbling should come; ESV-Temptations are
sure to come; MSG-Hard trials and temptations are bound to come; NAS-It is
inevitable that stumbling blocks come; NRS-Occasions for stumbling are bound to
come; TNIV-Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come; YLT-It’s
impossible for the stumbling blocks not to come; NET-Stumbling blocks are sure
to come; VOICE-You can’t stop temptations to do wrong from coming
B. One of
the greatest ways the enemy likes to cause us to stumble is by taking offense
1.
The
snare, the trap the temptation Jesus talks about in the next verse is not
forgiving your brother or taking offense
2.
The
opportunity to be offended is coming and it’s impossible for it not to come
C. So
knowing that the opportunity to become offended will come we need to learn what
to do when it comes our way
V.
Every
opportunity to be offended has to be dealt with
A. Ephesians
4:28-You’re going to see things you disapprove of and it’s going to make you
angry but what you can’t do is take offense
1.
You
have feelings of anger and you’re upset and annoyed and outraged – It’s
not a sin to have feelings
a. God
didn’t say you couldn’t get angry, he said you can’t allow that anger to cause
you to sin
1)
Don’t
allow those feelings to drive you to take offense and hold onto it
b. The sin
people usually commit after their anger is they take offense, they judge
unfavorably, they hold onto it
2.
Okay
you’re angry, you’re mad, you’re upset, you’re annoyed, you’re outraged –
NOW WHAT? Will you take offense or give forgiveness? Will you hold onto it or
let it go? – I’m angry but I’m not taking offense; I’m not happy about
it, but I’m not holding it
3.
One
of the main ways believers give place to the devil is they get angry and take
offense; Inoperative faith gives him place (faith works by love)-2 Corinthians
2:11
B. Every
opportunity you have to take offense and hold unforgiveness needs to be
actively dealt with
1.
2
Cor10:3-5-Every thought of offense and unforgiveness
needs to be dealt with
2.
Every
time you had an opportunity to be offended, to have anything against anybody
you either took offense or gave forgiveness and if you didn’t give forgiveness
you took offense
C. Forgiveness
is your defense against offense; it’s the weapon that you use to fight back
against the sprit of offense
1.
You
can’t give forgiveness and take offense at the same time
a. When
you have an opportunity to take offense if you’ll give forgiveness it’ll keep you
from taking offense
2.
I
REFUSE TO TAKE OFFENSE – but you can’t stop there; Too many times people
of stopped there, but you don’t overcome offense by just refusing to take it,
you overcome offense by giving forgiveness; I GIVE FORGIVENESS – this is
how you overcome offense
a. Your
defense against offense is to refuse to take offense; your offense to overcome
offense is to give forgiveness
b. Giving
forgiveness puts you on the offensive in this attack against your love walk
VI.
Do not
pretend-Mark 11:25-Forgive if you have ought against any – People pretend
like they don’t have anything against anybody because they know they’re not
supposed to and they perfect pretending with statements like, “I don’t have
anything against them, I’m not offended, I’m not in unforgiveness.”
A. How
would you know if you have something against them, if you’ve taken offense, if
you are holding unforgiveness?
1.
You’d
get a working agreement with the Holy Spirit to show you if you are
2.
Check
your words-Are you murmuring against them? Are you still talking about it?
3.
Are
you judging unfavorably of them?
4.
Has
your loving them, your love for them been affected?
5.
Is
there something between you and them? (In your heart is there something between
you and them?)
6.
You
have to be honest with yourself (We’re not trying to drum something up that
isn’t there, but we are looking for honesty)
a. Honest
is a big key to liberty and you have to be honest with yourself and honest with
God
B. Stop
pretending it’s not there and deal with it; If you pretend like it’s not there
you won’t deal with it
1.
You
saw something you disapproved of, it made you mad, you’ve judged unfavorably of
them, you have something against them; so ADMIT IT and let it go; Confess it,
it made you mad, it upset you, it hurt you and then let it go
a. Deal
with it, admit it, it made you mad, it displeased you, it hurt you and then let
it go
2.
You
won’t acknowledge your need to let something go if you pretend like you don’t
have it
a. What we
have done is carried that stuff around for months, pretending like we don’t
need to deal with it
b. Pushing
it aside and acting like it didn’t bother you is not forgiving and that is not
dealing with it
3.
Proverbs
28:13-Pretending like you’re not offended because you know you’re not supposed
to be is covering it, not confessing it
C. Proverbs 14:10-The heart
knows it’s own bitterness; that means inside you know if you took offense or
not
1.
The
more you pretend like it didn’t offend you the harder your heart becomes to the
reality that you need to deal with this
2.
You
can pretend and pretend and pretend to the point that you can be full of
offense and think you don’t have any
D. Also
involved in this is it takes humility to admit what they said hurt me, cut me;
pride pretends like it didn’t hurt
1.
Sometimes
to protect yourself you use the defense mechanism of pretending it didn’t hurt
2.
If
it hurt, it hurt admit it and stop trying to protect yourself; humble yourself
and believe God to heal the hurt and forgive that person and let them go
VII.
As
believers we need to be forgiving all the time (Because our heart is full of
forgiveness so too should our mouth be)
A. Colossians
3:13, Eph4:32-Forgiving is in the present progressive
tense and that indicates continuing action of something going on right now
1.
Forgiveness
is something you do all the time
a. We’ve
thought it’s only relevant when someone does something to me with the intent to
harm me in some capacity
b. Forgiveness
comes into play anytime anybody does anything you don’t like
2.
How
often do you think the enemy is trying to get you to take offense? All the time
– Then we need to be forgiving all the time
3.
I never turn my forgiver
off, I keep it a running all the time
4.
1
Thessalonians 5:17, Mark 11:25-I’m supposed to pray without ceasing, but Jesus
said when I stand praying forgive so that tells me that I need to be forgiving
all the time
B. Acts
24:16-I’m exercising myself towards this life where I don’t have anything against
anybody
1.
A
conscience void of offense is when there’s nothing between me and the Lord and
me men
2.
Have-Possess;
You can’t HAVE a conscience void of offence if you are always taking offence
a. The only
way to HAVE a conscience void of offense is to be giving forgiveness all of the
time
b. Always-Continually, constantly; You have
to be forgiving all the time if you want to always have a conscience void of
offense
3.
Exercise-To
exercise one’s self, take pains, labor, strive-To
make efforts, to endeavor with earnestness, labor hard
a. This
tells me to have this conscience void of offence it’s going to take spiritual
faith energy and effort on our part to have it
b. If you
don’t make efforts to obtain it, to HAVE it then you won’t have it; You got to
get hungry for this forgiving life and pursue it
4.
Conscience-The
consciousness of anything, The soul, the conscience; All these offense takes
place where people can’t see it
a. You can
smile at someone and have aught against them in your heart
b. You can
put on a good show and appear to not have anything against me, while your heart
can be full of aught
5.
He
exercises himself to not have anything against anybody all the time; to never
take offense, but rather to HAVE a conscience void of offense; To do that you
have to be forgiving all the time
VIII.
Proverbs
19:11-It is your glory to pass over a transgression (Passing over is the
opposite of taking)
A. When
you pass over a transgression and don’t take offense you are adorning yourself,
beautifying yourself, taking on an attribute of God
1.
Glory-To
beautify, to adorn, as an attribute of God, beauty, splendor
2.
MSG-Smart
people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur (splendor, magnificence)
is to forgive and forget
3.
BBE-A
man’s good sense makes him slow to wrath, and the overlooking of wrongdoing is
his glory
4.
CEB-Insightful
people restrain their anger; their glory is to ignore an offense
5.
NIRV-He
will be honored if he forgives someone who sins against him
6.
NLT-Sensible
people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrong doings
B. Discretion defers anger-Your
insight and understanding into these things and how the enemy works and what
offense and unforgiveness does to your faith and how it gives the enemy place
will defer or prolong your anger
C. The
more you pass over transgressions instead of taking offense the more developed
you’ll become in forgiveness
1.
Pass
over-You’re not going stay there with the transgression and camp on it and
rehearse it, but rather you pass over it
2.
Luke
9:51-56-They rejected Jesus, his disciples took offense; it didn’t even phase him;
He was developed in passing over transgression
3.
1
Peter 2:21-Jesus never responded by taking offense; His own family
called him crazy, his disciples left him, Judas betrayed him Peter denied him
but he didn't take offense
D. The
more developed you become in taking offense the easier it is to do it and over
time your mind becomes trained to look for it and find it and even search out a
reason to be offended and you become a person who is quick to be offended-James
1:19
1.
James 1:19
(AMP)-Understand this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a
ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry
2.
You
develop yourself the other way to the place where you have a long rope and
you’re slow to anger
IX.
What to do when offense
comes
A. Be calm – Ecclesiastes 10:4 (AMP)-If the temper of the
ruler rises up against you, do not leave your place [or show a resisting
spirit]; for gentleness and calmness prevent or put a stop to great offenses
1.
If
the temper of someone rises against you, you’re going to have an opportunity to
be offend, but if you be calm and gentle it will put a stop to you being
offended at him and in many cases him being offended at you
2.
Calm
and gentle has not be the calling card of many Christians
3.
MSG-A clam disposition
quiets intemperate rage
4.
VOICE-A calm replay puts
great offenses to rest
5.
NCV-Remaining calm solves
great problems
B. Take pleasure – 2
Corinthians 12:10
1.
Love
the trying of your faith, love the opportunity to develop
C. Give yourself to prayer
– Psalm 109:1-5
1.
His
response to an opportunity to be offended was to pray
2.
Stay
connected to the vine so that you can bear fruit