Pity Yourself
I.
What you need to know
about Self-Pity?
A. At the bottom all of
frustration, discouragement, sadness, sorrow, heaviness you’ll find self-pity;
it’s you feeling sorry for you
1. Self-pity is much more
prevalent than we’ve come to know and many people are yielding to it and not
even knowing it
2. It is one of the most
dangerous things that you can do in your life as a believer; it is a dark
bitter path that gets darker and darker
B. Matthew 16:20-23-Jesus
was and is so vehemently against self-pity
1. Be it far from thee-Pity
yourself, be merciful to yourself
a. NIV-“Never, Lord!” he
said. “This shall never happen to you!”
b. YLT-`Be kind to thyself,
sir; this shall not be to thee;'
c. King James translator
notes-Greek-Pity Yourself
2. 23-Jesus responded in one
of the most strongest ways that he ever responded
a. Self-pity was that
serious to him and he was that much against it
b. Jesus responded so
strongly because he wants no part of this
3. Jesus is a man who had
feelings the way you and I do and he was capable of feeling like this isn’t
fair, I don’t deserve this
a. Jesus didn’t deserve
these bad things that were going to happen
b. He has 2 deal w/ the same
feelings that u & I do & that is at the heart of the issue
c. He can’t afford to play
around in self-pity for a second
4. Satan is trying to catch
him, snare him, trap him by getting him to yield to self-pity
a. Peter vocalizes what
Jesus has been dealing with for months and that’s why Jesus responds so
strongly; He called Peter a danger to Him
b. If this was dangerous to
Jesus, then it must be dangerous to us
5. Peter is not the devil,
but the devil is speaking through Peter and trying to get Jesus to feel sorry
for himself
a. Why is Satan so
interested in getting you and me to feel sorry for ourselves?
It’s a sure way out of grace
II.
Yielding to bitterness
and self pity and being unthankful will push you away from grace
A. Hebrews 12:15-Yielding to
bitterness will cause you to miss out on the grace of God
B. What is Grace?
1. Grace is the supernatural
ability of God (1 Corinthians 15:10, Hebrews 12:28)
a. Grace is an enabler
2. Grace is the supernatural
power of God that manifests the goodness of God and the goodness that it
manifests is to grace
a. Grace is not only the
power to manifest healing, it’s the healing
3. Grace is whatever you
need it to be at the time; it’s the answer
a. 2 Corinthians 9:8-When
grace abounds towards you, it will cause you to always have more than enough no
matter what the need
C. We access grace through
faith which has thanksgiving with it
1. Colossians 2:7-Faith has
thanksgiving with it
2. Romans 5:2-We have access
into this grace by faith
D. In any time of need you
need grace to help-Hebrews 4:16
1. In a time of need there
is the greatest opprotuntiy to grow frustrated, dark, heavy, and yield to
self-pity, however it’s those very things that push you away from the grace you
need
a. Often times the greater
the “time of need” gets the more frustrated we get and the more frustrated we
get the less grace we have and the less grace we have the greater the time of
need gets and the more frustrated we get
2. If you’re in self-pity
and bitter you’re not in faith you’re not being thankful and you cannot access
this grace
E. Thanksgiving is a grace
connector (2 Corinthians 12:5-10)
1. 7-8-He needs grace to
help
2. 8-He begged God three
times; I thought you’re supposed to come boldly (Heb 4:16)
a. Begging got him “no
grace”
b. A beggar has no peace
3. 9-If he was in faith and
thanksgiving that grace would have been there
a. We know he’s operating in
a little unbelief, and unthankfulness
4. 9-The moment God said
grace it triggered something in Paul because he knew how to access that grace
by faith and thanksgiving
a. I will rejoice in my
weakness, not for my weaknesses
b. I’m going to be thankful
so that grace can come on me
c. Most Gladly, I take
pleasure-These are manifestations of peace which is the result of being
thankful (He got thankful)
III.
All self-pity stems from,
“I deserve better.” – 1 Kings 21:5
A. 1-Ahab is the King and
He’s got so much to be thankful for
B. 2-Ahab believes he should
have this land b/c he’s the king and he’s going to give Naboth better land or
what that land is worth in money
1. You can tell by the way
he asks that Ahab has already made up in his mind that Naboth is going to give
this to him and that he should have it
C. 4-He has no peace, he’s
not being thankful; he’s dark, down, and heavy
1. He got that way because
he got his eyes on the one thing that he didn’t have and it caused him to be
unthankful and robbed him of his peace
2. He is feeling sorry for
himself b/c he thinks he should/deserves to have that vineyard
D. 5-Never pet a pouter (When
you do you’re pushing them away from grace)
1. Jezebel is a
representation of the spirit of the devil and notice what the enemy does; he
pets the pouter; This is the worse thing that she could do for him
a. Many people would call
this being a good Christian, but she’s speaking utterances of the devil
b. This is Satanic; a man is
about to die b/c of what’s going in this bed right here
2. One of the most dangerous
things you can do in the life of another person is when they’re feeling sorry
for themselves, you pet them and aid them in doing so; when u do you’re a tool
being used of the enemy to push them further away from grace
a. EX: When you hear that
voice come in your hear & tell you how hard you’ve been working & how
you deserve better & you don’t deserve this, that is not God
b. 25-She stirred this up in
him
E. He was unthankful,
yielding to self-pity and it got darker and darker
1. 9-13-Lying comes out of
this
2. 14-Killing came out of
this
3. 15-Stealing came out of
this
4. 18-Naboth’s wife and
children just lost their husband and Father and Ahab’s down there taking their
land
F. The spirit of
self-entitlement and the spirit of self-pity run together
IV.
When you are in self-pity
it is because you believe you deserve better and what you believe you deserve
God cannot give to by grace
A. What do you deserve?
1. If we can get rid of this
“I deserve it” mentality, then we can get rid of self-pity b/c all self-pity is
rooted in “I deserve better” – If you deserve nothing then there’s
nothing feel sorry for yourself b/c you don’t and the only thing left to do is
to be thankful for all that you do have
a. If you get rid of
self-pity you’ll get into more grace b/c you’ll be thankful
2. The only reason you’d
deserve anything is b/c you worked for it and earned it
a. Before you got saved your
works had you experiencing hell on the earth and going to hell for eternity and
that is what you deserved and it was just
3. What you didn’t deserve,
but you got by grace
a. Ephesians 2:8-You were
saved by grace
b. Romans 4:16-Any promise
you inherit is by grace
c. James 1:17-Every good
thing you got, you got by grace
4. When you believe you
deserve it, you’re saying it’s not by grace that it’s given to me, but it’s a
result of my works
a. When you believe you
deserve it you are rejecting grace
5. When u come into the
Kingdom of God u have rights as a believer & yet every right u have is a
right that was given to u by grace & u did nothing to deserve it or earn it
a. You have to be very
watchful of the “I deserve it” spirit – In other words well I did what
the Word said and I deserve for this to happen in my life – because that
spirit rejects grace & keeps God from being able to be gracious to you
b. Boldness to stand comes
not from what I deserve, but it comes from what God wants me to have because he
loves me and what Jesus died so I can have because he loves me and you must
never flirt with the “I deserve line”
1)
I’m
not talking about what I deserve, I’m talking about what Jesus died so I could
have and what God wants to give to me by grace
B. Romans 4:1, 11:6
1. 1-Abraham found,
discovered, and detected something
2. 2-If Abraham did this by
works then he can boast in himself
3. 3-Abraham believed and it
was counted unto him as righteousness
4. 4-If you work for it,
then it’s owed to you
a. If you work for it, then
you deserve it & it isn’t & cannot be given to you by grace
1)
The
only way that God get any good thing to any man is by grace, b/c no man with
his works deserves any good thing
b. This attitude of
self-pity/self-entitlement, that you deserve it keeps God from being able to be
gracious to you b/c if it’s owed to you it’s not grace
1)
2
Cor 9:8-God is able to make all grace abound towards u
so that you always having all sufficiency in all things may abound to every
good work, but this self-pity, self-entitlement, “I deserve better” attitude
disables his grace in your life
c. Romans 11:6-Works make
grace no longer grace
5. 5-If u don’t work, then u
don’t deserve anything and then it must be given by grace
a. His faith will access
grace and he’ll be put in right-standing with God
6. 6-8-David says the man
that is made righteous by faith and grace is blessed
7. 9-Faith, believing, not
working, is what enabled God to be gracious to Abraham and put him in
right-standing with Him
8. 13-This promise wasn’t
owed and it wasn’t deserved and Abraham and his seed didn’t work for it but it
was given by grace that came through faith
9. 14-They which are of the
law are not on the grace faith system; they’re on the I worked for it and
deserve system (works and wages)
a. When you get on that
system over there where you deserve it and it’s owed to you faith is made
void-empty, useless, and will have no effect
1)
When
you’re over in that place of “I deserve it” you’re not longer receiving it by
faith, you’re receiving by works
b. When you get on that
system over there where you work for it and deserve it and it’s owed to you the
promise is made of none effect
1)
When
u think u deserve it the word of God is inactive in ur
life (Acts 14:3, 20:32)
c. When u get on
that system of “u deserve it” faith is over & the Word is inoperative
1)
By
getting into self pity you’ve taken faith and the Word of God completely voided
both of them out b/c by getting into self-pity you’ve chose to get over on the
deserve system and off of the grace system
10. 15-The law works wrath
because it’s based on what you deserve
a. Where there’s no law,
there’s no transgression, & there’s nothing for u to deserve
11. 16-Inheriting the promise
is received by faith and given by grace
a. The moment you get over
into the place of self-pity, self-entitlement, & what you deserve you are
no longer positioned to inherit the promise which is given by grace and
received through faith
b. Inheriting the promise is
by grace
1)
You
didn’t earn it and you don’t deserve and God doesn’t owe it to you
2)
Get
out of this mentality that I did what the Word said b/c I did you owe me
c. If it’s owed to you
there’s no need for thanksgiving before or after b/c u earned it
1)
1
Cor 10:30-If you partake of it by grace, then thanks
is in order (before & after)
2)
2
Corinthians 9:15-Anytime it’s by grace thanks is necessary
12. 17-Abraham found
something and he started believing and saying what God said
13. 18-With no reason 2 think
it’d come to pass he found something & kept believing
a. He kept his eyes on the
Word of Grace
14. 20-Abraham found
something; if I’ll stay in faith and stay thankful God will be gracious to me
in any situation
15. 5:2-We have access into
this grace if we’ll get off of self-pity, I deserve it, works and onto faith
and thanksgiving
a. Faith can’t be based on
what I deserve b/c I deserve nothing; it must be based on what Jesus did for me
C. 1 Samuel 1:5-19
1. 6-She has no peace, she’s
weeping, not eating; she’s miserable & she’s not thankful
a. This went on for years and
this is not okay
2. 8-She had a great
husband, she’s got a double portion, she was alive and breathing and well, but
she’s unthankful b/c she’s got her eyes on what she doesn’t have
3. 10-She’s bitter, angry,
heavy, & discontent – NO PEACE
a. She’s praying, but there’s no faith in it
b. If ur
putting off you’re happiness, joy, peace until victory shows up ur not content
c. She’s not content b/c she’s
supposed 2 have this baby, it’s God’s will 4 her & it’s not happening
1)
She
just has 2 have what God has 4 her & that attitude is not ok-Not thankful
2)
In
the violence & intensity of our faith the opportunity is there to get so
caught up in what you’re believing for that you get unthankful for all God has
done
4. 11-She’s trying to get it
not by grace, but by a deal
5. 15-She’s sorrowful of
spirit & she feels justified in being this way b/c she doesn’t have what
she’s supposed to – NO PEACE
a. 15-She thinks this
wailing and crying is being spiritual
6. 16-This abundant grief
and complaining produced no baby
7. 17-Go in peace and
(connection) you’ll get what you asked
8. 17-She took his Word as
the Word of God and that was all she needed
a. 18,19-She’s not sad,
she’s eating, her countenance has changed b/c she believes what God said, She’s
worshipping God
b. She didn’t have to make a
deal; she had to get in faith and thanksgiving so God could be gracious to her
V.
“I deserve it” is prideful and it rejects
grace
A. Thanksgiving and humility
go together; Thankful people are humble people
1. Humility appreciates what
was done; pride says it’s not that big of deal
2. Humility acknowledges
that it was done and that it was done by grace; in the back of prides mind it
deserved and you should have done it
3. Humility expresses
thanks; pride won’t say thank you because that would be to acknowledge that
somebody else did it and therefore gets the credit; pride will say I could have
done it
B. Unthankful is prideful
1. You don’t appreciate, you don’t
acknowledge, you don’t express
2. “I deserve it”, self-pity, and
self-entitled are prideful
a. Who are you that you’re
entitled to it or you deserve it
3. Pride and deception go
together (Obadiah 3); You deserve it is a lie
C. James 4:6-The humble get
the grace
1. Humility is reality (2
Corinthians 12:6) – The reality is you don’t deserve it
VI.
Thanksgiving will get you
into more grace
A. Luke 17:10
1. A leper had to show
himself to the priest and be cleared to join society again
a. You only went to the
priest if you were cleansed of the leprosy
b. This is an act of faith;
to start going to the priest when you still have leprosy
2. 13-If it’s mercy then
they don’t deserve it
3. 15-16-One of the main
ways you glorify God is by giving thanks
4. 17-Jesus expected his
faith to work and for what he said to come to pass
5. 17-It was mercy that
healed them; they didn’t deserve it or earn it so where are they? They should
be giving thanks
6. 18-You give glory to God
by giving thanks to Him
7. 19-Your faith-He’s giving
thanks but Jesus called that faith
8. 19-Made you whole
a. He got something the
other nine didn’t get
b. Jesus was ready to do
more for all of them, but he could only do more for the one who was thankful
for what he had already done
c. Faith and thanksgiving
caused him to receive more grace and he was not only cleansed from leprosy, but
he was made whole
d. When you’re not thankful
for what God has done you resist the grace for more to be done
B. Greater glory comes from
greater grace and greater grace comes through greater thanksgiving (2
Corinthians 4:15)
1. Oh that men would thank
God, they’d see more grace (Psalm 107:8)